It's all in the name....


When it comes to puerile schoolboy fun, there’s nothing like a funny name to set off the giggles, and it appears that Golf is the sport that provides more than any. Whether it be the cheekily monikered Dicky Pride – who won the 1994 FedEx St Jude’s Classic, or poor old Jeff Maggert who seemingly has less to be proud about, there are quite a few interesting names amongst the Pros.

As far as onomatopoeia is concerned, the number one contender has to be quadruple Asian Tour winning Wang Ter-chang. There are a few ‘Dongs’ and ‘Chings’, but no golfers name evokes more perfectly the sound of a well-thrashed metal wood out of the trees. Only a shout of “Fore!” after uttering the name could make it more authentic. Whilst a good challenger to the same title has to be Whee Kim, who you might imagine cracking a 350 yard drive down the fairway and excitedly screaming his own forename as the ball rockets into the distance.

Another name that would benefit from an added suffix is John Huh. If only his forefathers had seen fit to place a question mark after his surname, it would beautifully encapsulate that look on the golfer’s face when his carefully calculated shot to the green drops ten yards short into the water. He might even be heard to utter the phrase “Well I never!”, which could be construed as laying the blame with fellow Pro Will Enefer.

Of course, we have a handful of odd nicknames that players have carried into their professional careers since their childhood days – Bubba Watson, Boo Weekley and of course Tiger Woods are but a few, but nobody would score you more points on a Scrabble board than Fuzzy Zoeller. And whilst Tiger has always been brought up under his feline nickname, the Argentinian Puma Dominguez can at least boast that his prowling beast of a name is genuine.

Both Ashley Hall and Chez Reavie sound like they could be found in the Michelin restaurant guide, and here in the UK we have been brought up with an entirely different character in the name of Johnny Vegas. However manic our Johnny is though, he couldn’t make a teenager guffaw just by uttering his name – unlike U.S golfers Dick Mast and Notah Begay.

Bunky Henry had a great name, Quincy Quek is a beautiful piece of alliteration, and Fred Funk is pretty damn cool too. Chip Beck and Cameron Champ seem pretty appropriate handles to take into the game of golf, and it’s easy to imagine Maverick Antcliff or Maverick McNealy taking a driver out of a bunker to an island green.

There are many a commentator who would be pleased to see the likes of Jazz Janewattananond, Kiradech Aphibarnrat, Suradit Yongcharoenchai, Suteepat Prateeptienchai, Itthipat Buranatanya, Chonlatit Chuenboonngam, Witchayanon Chothirunrungru or P. Tangkamolpraser fail to make the cut, if only to avoid having to pronounce their names. Worse still would be any combination of them forming a fourball; by the time they had all been announced on the first tee they would probably have missed their alloted time slot. No combination could ever beat the one illustrated in the accompanying picture to this article though – Tennessee’s News sentinel Open brought together the fantastic trio of Ryan Yip, Adam Schenk and Jhared Hack in its final round in 2016, providing the most negative aspects of golf all in one perfect grouping.

The best is of course always left until last, with the outright winner of the name most likely to delight our puerile minds as that of New York golfer and 1934 US Open Bronze medallist Wiffy Cox.

That one had to be worth the wait?

Adie.

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