Crowded out....

What is it all of a sudden with Fridays? We go months with just the Cartwright duo battling the elements, then suddenly everyone wants to join us. And it’s nowhere near the June Cup yet. In the last 4 weeks we’ve had seven of the Majorca lads out clambering through the trees and wild foliages of Werneth Golf Club, with six appearing last Friday to join the regular knock. A five – ball of Quent, Ashey, Jimmy Elliott, Paul Fenton and myself managed to sneak round eight holes without complaint, but when Graham appeared at the 8th green with his bag on his shoulder we knew we were never going to remain very inconspicuous, especially as some of us were spraying balls around like a kid dropping maltesers off the playground roundabout. It was clear that one or two Thugs are certainly in need of the practice, yet the conditions at the moment don’t allow a true indication of how you are playing, as fairway mats are still being used, winter tees and greens are in operation, and the fairways are wetter than the deck of the Titanic. As the weeks roll on, I suspect we will be playing in two groups more often, as everyone seeks sufficient practice to lift the June Cup, before sitting out enough competitions to increase their handicap to an achievable Majorcan standard. Derek, of course, will be heading off to his new pad in Murcia on regular occasions in order to gain a feel for the Spanish grass in the hope that it will give him a head start in October. This is one of the advantages of being richer than a Guinness fart. If all this practice is indeed aimed at Majorca, then it must be remembered that performances on the course are hugely influenced by the ability to handle the previous night’s beer. That said, our Friday night drinking session has become better attended over the past few weeks also, which only fuels my suspicions that practice is being gained in every area. It is, of course, those with the higher handicaps that will benefit more from practice, and those players could sweep the board with enough practice rounds under their belt. Ashey is certainly making the effort, and I presume Ken is getting his money’s worth out of his membership at Saddleworth. Neil regularly plays at weekends around the municipals, and Jim Wilson’s new handicap as Pink Jacket holder will make it pointless even trying anymore. Come to think of it, how DID Jim manage to win last year? I haven’t seen anyone swing so awkwardly since Saddams execution was put on YouTube.