New year - New moan.

A Happy New Year to everyone (Except the Manager at Santa Ponsa). Another year over and we can look forward to the next 12 months of digging holes in fields faster than the Greenstaff can fill them. Unfortunately, the weather has made it difficult to get a game over the last fortnight, which means the only way to keep your arm in is to visit the covered driving range. It is here where you always come across the oddest characters in golf. The most irritating of these is the bloke who freezes halfway into his backswing and turns his head toward his club. What the hell is he doing? - checking that nobody has run off with his club while he was keeping his eye on his ball? or maybe he can’t remember whether he put his glove on. Just hit the bloody thing son, we’re only here to wallop a ball as hard as we can - that’s why we don’t bring a putter. The other guy to look for is is the ‘Tutter’. He’s the one who would like you to think he never normally hits a bad shot but is having a rare off-day today. You can tell just by looking at his swing that he’s probably never even driven his car straight, never mind a golf ball. Yet still he persists - “Tut,tut,tut” after each ball thuds into the dividing wall of the bay, and when you get two or three of these geezers in a row it sounds like Skippy has invited his friends round for a chat. The worst one is the muppet who wants to talk to you all through your session. After telling you all about his new driver and which balls give him most backspin he advises that the only way you’re ever going to get good at the game is to keep on hitting as many shots as you can. The conversation stopper is when you explain that the idea of the game is to hit as few shots as you can. They soon turn to someone else. So, unless the weather improves enough to get out on the course and get my fix I shall probably continue doing daft subconscious things like putting a marker down every time I remove an egg from the fridge. Maybe I should stay in and finish the book I am writing. I thought it was time I put into print something that I am quite an authority on. Look out for it on the shelves this spring - it is entitled ‘How To Line Up Your 3rd Putt’.

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