Playing rugby in the streets of Magaluf at 5am after a heavy nights drinking led to Jimmy Elliot sprinting toward the other lads. After getting full speed up over 70 yards, he encountered Jim Wilson - who promptly dropped his shoulder into Jimmy’s path causing our most senior member to tumble almost full somersault across the street for several yards. We couldn’t pick Jimmy up until we’d picked ourselves up off the floor!

 

In 1999 Thugs were split into two apartments. One group decided to take advantage by breaking into the other apartment and setting up a number of practical jokes including washing-up liquid in the kettle, sardines under pillows, flour or sugar on mattresses and itching powder in boxers. One unfortunate member of that room also had all but two of the bedframe laths taken out and his mattress carefully replaced. Finally, cling film was stretched across the toilet pan and the fuses taken out of the lighting circuit with the idea that the four occupants would return home in the early hours after a large dose of San Miguel, stumble around in the darkness and then either fall into bed or try and use the toilet - any of which would result in chaos. When Graham decided part way through the night that he needed to go back to the room because he had a bad dose of the runs, the jokers could only imagine the mess that the clingfilm was likely to leave.

 

Playing his second shot on the 7th at Son Vida, Ashey decided to play it safe and just lay up his shot with a gentle 7 iron. He caught the shot straight off the middle but way too left, and way too hard. The ball cleared the fairway, the rough and the trees, bounced on the road out of bounds, hit a house on the other side of the road, bounced back across the road, through the trees, back in bounds, missed a bunker and nestled back on the fairway right at the side of the green.

 

Returning from a round of golf at Santa Ponsa, we decided to sit down at the bar below our rooms for one swift bottle of lager before going up to shower before tea. At this point Dave Anforth decided to start asking football questions and before long we were all using the empty bottles to illustrate midfield formations etc. More drinks were ordered but the empties remained as they were indicating players and positions. By the time the questions dried up there were 81 empty bottles on the table, and we all staggered up for a shower with a full night of drinking still ahead of us.

 

Whilst enjoying a meal in Magaluf, Jimmy Elliot decided to tell us all a story that involved a certain pop act from the past. Unfortunately Jim couldn’t remember the name but knew it definitely involved the name Frankie. After half an hour of the rest of us trying to help him by naming all the Frankies we knew (...Goes to Hollywood, Ifield, Avalon, Vaughan etc) he suddenly remembered - “Right said Frankie”! How he escaped not wearing his dinner that night is a mystery.

 

Adie arrived at Herons Reach (Blackpool) suffering a dose of food poisoning, but determined to play in a social game alongside five other Thugs. Halfway down the ninth fairway the illness took a sudden hold and the signs of imminent bowel eruption had him pleading with his playing partners to search their bags for any tissues etc they had. Being so far from the clubhouse, the only option was for him to dart into the bushes at the side of the fairway, where he experienced the indignity of sharing his toilet habits with the rabbits, frogs and horseflies, whilst gripping a branch to keep his balance and avoiding some threatening looking thistles. After shedding a pound or two, he walked gingerly back to his ball and whacked it onto the elevated green, where sitting hidden behind the green was a pristine, beautifully kept block of toilets......

 

Neil Butterworth managed to drive his ball around 320 yards on Son Vida’s 10th hole in 2006, yet still end up further from the pin than his partners. His drive hit a tree about 150 yds up the left hand side of the fairway, and bounced backwards onto the concrete cart path where it proceeded to roll back down the slope toward the tee, eventually finishing 20 yds behind the original teeing area.

 

As reigning Champion and Pink Jacket holder, Jim Wilson would ordinarily be expected to offer any onlookers a reasonable strike off the first tee. Unfortunately this is not necessarily the case after a nights drinking in Magaluf, as Jim proved at Poniente in 2007. An initial tired lash at the ball brought a shank that travelled at 90 degrees to its target and as greenstaff looked on, he proceeded to reload and produce an identical shot with his next attempt. Bravely soldiering on, Jim struck a third shot from the side of the tee which once again scuttled off in the same direction, between the tyres of his buggy, causing him to calmly walk up to his ball, place it into his pocket and head off down the fairway leaving the gallery in stitches.

 

Quent’s poppadom juggling had to be worth a mention. The Indian restaurant in Palma Nova was our first port of call, all of us being fresh out of the shower and clean clothed. Within seconds of receiving his poppadom Quent was piling it high with onion, chutney and other condiments. Immediately after commenting how good the offending article was, he lifted it toward his mouth when it collapsed under the weight and covered his lap in assorted colours and sauces.

 

2009 - Neil Butterworth and Pete Ashworth both struck their second shots up Son Termens’ 10th fairway within a couple of seconds of each other, and both in the same direction. Neil roared with laughter as he saw Ashey’s ball come rolling back down the path at the side of the fairway, travelling between the wheels of a parked buggy, and following the snaking path all the way back to the bottom of the hill, around 100 yards further back than it had started. When Ashey failed to retrieve the ball, Neil mockingly enquired whether he was just going to leave it where it was. The look on Neil’s face was priceless when Ashey informed him it had actually been his own ball he’d watched disappearing back toward the tee.

 

When Adie Cartwright’s ball ended up in a small cave in the rocks of Son Termens, he noticed it had come to rest at the side of a goat that had been taking shade. Adie enquired about a ruling on the position, and Neil Butterworth decided the situation required recording, so he stuck his head and video camera into the cave entrance. Not enjoying being the centre of attention, the goat decided to charge at Neil, resulting in a hilarious 15 seconds of video footage.

 

Meeting at breakfast in the chosen colour shirt of the day is normal practice in Majorca, unless of course a plan has been hatched by four of the six attendees. When Jimmy Elliot and Graham Wilson sat at breakfast in a totally different coloured shirt, not only did the remaining Thugs question their choice, but other guests at the hotel also commented. Suitably embarrassed, the two argued between themselves as to whose fault the error had been, before heading back to the room to change. It’s fair to say they were hardly surprised ten minutes later, when the remaining four appeared in the colours that Jim and Graham had just changed out of, and a few expletives were exchanged.

 

When Ashey lashed at his ball on the second hole at Werneth, he topped it so severely that it bounced straight up in the air, hit the peak of his cap knocking it over the back of his head, and the ball landed back between his feet.

 

Dining in a typical Mallorcan restaurant, Adie and Jimmy Elliott decided to share a local delicacy of fried rabbit with peppers. Selecting an ear each, both were discussing how the salt encrusted item was considered a finer part of the animal, and proceeded to try it. After taking a small nibble and deciding he wasn’t keen on it, Adie placed it back under some peppers on the side of the plate presuming that it would not be disturbed as the meal was so large. Unaware of this, Jimmy decided he really liked the peppers, munched his way through them and discovered the ear. Examining the said organ, to make sure it was indeed an ear, he turned rather indignantly to the waiter across the room shouting “Hey hombre! How many ears has this bleeding rabbit got?”.

 

While struggling through a round at Son Muntaner, Jim Wilson lashed an almighty shot across the 9th fairway which headed straight towards a buggy occupied by the Cartwright brothers. Both dived out to safety, as Jim’s ball whistled through the back of the buggy and straight out the front, narrowly missing the very expensive built-in GPS screen. Four holes later, not content with the one close shave, Jim walloped another wayward shot, this time whizzing through his own buggy, hitting a rock on the other side, bouncing back into the buggy and clattering around inside before the ball came to rest on the seat, amazingly without damage to the GPS screen again.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

During one of our nights out round the bars of Magalluf, we witnessed the surreal sight of a midget climbing up onto the bar and skateboarding along it. Whilst attempting to make his way back along the bar, our height-challenged friend fell off and sent his skateboard crashing into a beer pump, breaking it. The midget quickly climbed down and ran off out of the bar, returning only when he thought the coast was clear, and hiding out of sight under the bar.

Unfortunately for him, the bar owner spotted the little guy, grabbed him by the scruff of his neck and proceeded to spank his backside, whilst calling him a "Naughty dwarf!". We were crying with laughter at the spectacle.